Life the universe and everything in between


The Beauty of Imperfection

Through the inspiring words of a friend, Rachel…

Today I bought a new skirt. It is bright blue, and in the dark seems to glow. When I arrived home, I put it on and tried it with a dark blue singlet I had bought at the age of 14, 10 years earlier. “Tehe”, I think, as I observe myself in the mirror, “it is so tight you can see the definition of my buttocks through that lycra”.
Walking down the street, I feel like a model, strutting down the catwalk, and that everyone’s eyes are drawn my way. However, out of nowhere, analysis sets in and I start thinking about the contrast between my faded blue singlet and my sensational new skirt. I feel more warmth towards my singlet, but excitement about the skirt… there is no way I could enjoy the skirt without my singlet. My singlet is what I know and what makes me feel secure. Although it is nowhere near as glowing as my skirt, just like a best friend, my singlet represents stability and intimacy.
My singlet tells the story is the story of sleepiness nights, running races and training, beaches and freezing mornings. It’s the story of an object I have not always been fond of, but which has always played a fundamental role in its own history and my memories. Although it is now full of holes, and looks more tie-dye than navy blue, and even though I can only use it for a day before the sweat, accumulated in the fabric over many years begins to make itself known, it is my favorite singlet because I know best how to wash it, dry it, and I can wear it with any other item of clothing, no matter how embarrassed I might feel in doing so. For me, it is perfect in its imperfection.
Of course my skirt also has a story, which goes much further back than the store where I bought it- to the factory, the countryside, and the truckies that transported it from wherever those origins might have been. Nonetheless, in contrast to my singlet, I cannot know its story, I don’t know it.

Eventually my skirt will grow old, and perhaps for this, I will grow to love it more. Although it will no longer have the same shine it has at the moment, it will have its own story, and will have come to form part of my story. It is only a question of giving it the opportunity to shine, no only in a superficial sense, but also in an emotional one.
If we visit a second-hand, “used” or “pre-loved” bookstore, unlike a new clothes store, in which one looks for the least wrinkled, most finely sewn, and shiny item, in such bookstores, the most destroyed, coverless, coffee-stained book is that which best indicates a quality tale, just as old-people indicate certain wisdom. Taking this into account, it is not surprising that artistic photographers take pictures of old-people and collapsing buildings, and not plastic youth and spaceships, as in advertisements. The former tell a story, the latter show.

Imperfection is the key to that which is interesting, exotic and strange. It’s the spare tyre which indicates the tasty meal from the night before, the loss of control, and at times, the suffering of a person before society’s judging eyes. Imperfection might be the scar on a man’s forehead that prevents his hair from growing, and the perfect number-1 cut. It might be the story of when his sister dropped him on the head as a baby, or the battle he had with his brother when Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were all the rage. It could be the tremour that suggests the hidden vice, buried insecurities, sadness, and the “I can’t go on” of an alcoholic, and the orthographical mistakes of a child whose parents couldn’t afford to pay the electricity.  These are the clues of imperfection and the way to its beautiful treasure.



What Makes Us Human?

Yet again -and at no surprise, another of Rachel’s inquiries into life and her incredible ways with words has captured my attention…

Several months ago I wrote a story. It never made it to e-mail press, but it dealt with the beauty of imperfection.

Over the past few weeks I have been having that sensation of brain-overload with an inability to express the emotions which usually can be dealt with through a wee tale or two. Amongst these emotions, there has been a good chunk of embarrassment, disappointment, failure, and nostalgia, whilst at the sametime, euphoria, satisfaction, solidarity, and gratitude.

It was not until the past couple of days, however, that I came to understand the significance of, and common thread to this plethora of emotions, which I now see relate back to the beauty of imperfection. That is, the beauty of our humanity.

It is incredible the frequency with which we try to hide our vulnerability and what makes us human. That is not to say that we should constantly expose ourselves either. Wounds will get infected by criticism if open too long to the world, but if we were never to injure ourselves, and see our own flesh, I believe we would lack a certain self-awareness- that we are human, vulnerable and perfect in our imperfections. If we are to hurt ourselves emotionally and hide the feelings such damage provokes, effectively we are using an unsterilised band-aid which eventually will lead to infection, possibly sepsis and a bittering of our spirits.

By contrast, if we are not afraid to let our injuries air, and let somebody (of course not anybody, but the correct person) see such vulnerability, we can treat the wound and let it heal in its own time.

This leads me to what makes a good author or artist. At high school, whenever they would speak of writing, they would say the best comes from personal experiences, and I would add, exposing oneself to a certain degree, showing the wounds, learning from the scars, and using these experiences to understand one’s own behaviors, those of others, and to learn to relate to people around us. In short, to empathise.

A good drama, take Grey’s Anatomy, for example, or a great film, almost anything from Disney, perhaps Beauty and the Beast, and ask yourself: why are they dramatic? Why do they make us laugh, cry and empathise? I would argue because they reflect the real complexities and fireballs life tosses out. Although we often say these things don’t happen in everyday life, I beg to differ; they show life through the eyes of a good storyteller, through the eyes of those who are not afraid to put their cards on the table and show that despite all bets to contrary, they never had a fullhouse.

A good bridge player will use their dummy hand on the table, that is the weaker, exposed part of themselves, to compliment their own strengths and to hopefully win the grand slam. If the player does not manage to make the contract, the game goes on and the players around them will make the most of the open dummy hand. A misjudgement on our part will never go to waste. As long as we don’t try to conceal it, someone will always benefit.

All this said, in my current state of being, faults might not necessarily be what make us human, but rather remind us we are human. They are what give us the strength to laugh, feel relief and be thankful for the pleasurable experiences we have when we are lucky enough to experience them, to soar above with the sensation that we are super human. Equally, sharing what we perceive as shortfalls, our humanity, can be surprisingly soothing.

The end.



.. . Gaps . . .. of . . knowledge … . . .
August 2, 2008, 3:21 am
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , ,

There is alot of knowledge out there in fact its all a bit overwhelming when you considering how much you want to digest! But Ive identified two main gaps in my knowledge i wish to fill. Knowledge of Philosophy & Theology, which I guess in turn exists under and in relation to the larger body of ‘history’ too, aswell as learn more about human anatomy & biology, including a greater understanding of science, so that actually encompasses alot more than two main areas!. So much to learn -so little time….

where to start… ? .. ? . . . ? .



The crumbs of the cookie

As the saying goes “that’s just the way the cookie crumbles” and generally when it does most are small enough to not bother savouring. Its easy to ‘acknowledge’ small crumbs and then let them be, as they are not substantial enough to eat and we find (more than often) that we are happy to not fuss about trying to claim each one. But when theres a significant crumble in the cookie there is generally a different response. You take action, you cease it and you savour it.



For the sake of a good discussion.
March 27, 2008, 9:54 pm
Filed under: Life | Tags: , , , , , , ,

.

Okay so ponder this. Yes, perhaps a little hefty but share your perspectives…

How do you explain human nature?

(Why do human beings act the way we do? and what do you think our underlying natural nature is?)



“The Invitation”
February 22, 2008, 10:43 pm
Filed under: Life | Tags: , , , , , ,

A passage some of you out there might have read before. It might be a bit “hippy-ish” for some but love it and just wanted to share it.

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithlessand therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it’s not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

copyright © 1999 by Oriah Mountain Dreamer.



“Melancoly and the infinite Happiness” By Rachel Haas, 9th Feb 08
February 10, 2008, 7:31 am
Filed under: Life | Tags: , , , , , ,

Ive been in contact with Rach since she left our flat & spontaniously took off globe trotting to satisfy a bad case of itchy feet. She writes beautifully on every eventful and non eventful situation life throws at her and i always find her stories so facinating and inspiring to read.

My lasting impression of Paris I think will be that everyone is lost, Parisians and foreigners alike, not figuratively, but physically. Nonetheless, I do like to ask myself, what exactly it means to be lost, because this implies not being able to find what you are looking for or unfulfilled aim or desire and excludes any positive connotations.

I guess everything comes down to the means/ends debate. If you are not really aiming to get somewhere, does getting lost lose all significance? Is the means an ends in itself?

A couple of weeks ago Gibbo and I spent several hours looking for the favourite Parisian street to have a beer, and upon arrival only decided may as well have a beer given we had been looking for so long. Although I can’t speak for Gibbo, for me, the enjoyment of having a beer and looking for a beer were pretty much equal, and so the question is, were we really lost?
I thought this feeling might merely have been the result of the overwhelming “old(ness), big(ness), and cool(ness)” (Gibbo, pont something, 2008) of Paris, but meeting Bran and subsequently Kathleen and Duncan, confirmed that yes, we were little fish in a big grey pond, and that getting lost, but not lost, is perhaps the defining characteristic of Paris.


Despite this, or maybe as a result, I have been able to create a picture upon this grey Parisian canvas. I like to call it “Melancholy and the Infinite Happiness”, and it goes something like this: No matter how lost you feel, physically or figuratively, friendship and solidarity are the magnetic north of life that sandpaper away the rough edges, and create a pastel blue background upon which the greys lose their power.


I went out in the world to get lost, and I think rather than travelling round, I should have cut straight to Paris, where, according to one drunk, bet-up, and amnesic Peruvian, it is naïve to try one’s luck.
Trying one’s luck clashes with the light blue. When we are completely content with the melancholy, is there any point trying to strike it lucky?, because, luck may just be misfortune.